My LJ

CHRISTMAS:


I don't have a lot of money to spend for people. So i plan on getting friends little things. & if you smoke weed, i'mma have a big smoke out for xmas. haha merry christmas you guys.


But i really don't want much. Earings since my gauges are gone, those bracelets i always have on, maryyjaane, money, or anything else.

i do not want to go to school. Today should be a decent day though. hurraay for xanax.
After last weekend i weighted 98 lbs, im so fucking proud of myslef

I realized that i've gone over the edge.I'm scared more than anything too.
Something seriously isn't right. I'll figure it out though, i'll be fine.

i've made up my mind, im interested in you. Im not going to let anyone elese opinons effect mine. I'm excited, and happy.

Best fucking weekend in a long time. i love all of my friends, and the new ones too!

Whyyyyy am i always at war with my mind? I cant make my own decisions in fear of what others think.

I just want to bring you back. My whole life has been shit. Im afraid im going to forget how you sound. I hate when i get in moods like this. Nothing can bring you back tome and i still cant get that thought my brain. I just want my dad back. id give fucking anything i swear to god

Alright, I'm interested.

i have one thing to say.

For some reason, certain people, (taryn bg, nicole, others) think its entertaining, or something to say things about my father. The main thing being said is, "your father would be proud." (sarcasm) "your dad wouldnt be proud" or something about how since i have no male attention im a whore and crave it. Well you know what? I be your dad wouldnt be proud of what you do either.  Theres one diffrerence, my dad isnt here anymore. id fucking give everything in the world back to seemy father one last time. and you fucking bitches just say the most hurt ful things. i swear to god you better watch it. you dont even understand how it is. your so lucky to even have a dad. Like i just cant even fcucking imagine saying something to someone like that. imj just having a really hard time right now. i cant fucking type goodnight.

im sick as fuckkkkk, coughing. Imma stop with ciigs, or atleast slow it down. but this cheered me up.



"Fact: Moderate smoking of marijuana appears to pose minimal danger to the lungs. Like tobacco smoke, marijuana smoke contains a number of irritants and carcinogens. But marijuana users typically smoke much less often than tobacco smokers, and over time, inhale much less smoke. As a result, the risk of serious lung damage should be lower in marijuana smokers. There have been no reports of lung cancer related solely to marijuana, and in a large study presented to the American Thoracic Society in 2006, even heavy users of smoked marijuana were found not to have any increased risk of lung cancer. Unlike heavy tobacco smokers, heavy marijuana smokers exhibit no obstruction of the lung's small airway. That indicates that people will not develop emphysema from smoking marijuana."

Well, today i found a notebook my dad kept. A bunch of religious stuff was written down, a message to my mom. and then in the pocket of it was a little note that i guess i wrote him. He kept it. "i love you daddy, katie" I just want to die.

Shut up seriously, no one likes you anymore. Stop complaining.

haha like I'm in the wrong with this. Get over yourself.


I similply just don't care about stupid shit like this anymore.
get outta hereee hahaaa

It's really easy for me to say i don't get along with
the people i used to be friends with. Swallow your
fucking pride for once.Is it really that hard to
have some fucking consideration? My opinion
on almost everyone has changed, and dont get me
wrong im sure your opinion on me has changed to.
I've been realizeing who my friends are, who
the fake ones are, and who can seriously
just suck my dick. Seriously, fuck bitches.
&&&&&&&&&&& trust my mother fuckers
what i think about you, even though you guys
are my friends everyone seems to agree.


.From now it's me before you.






++ Last night was scary. Having a gun pointed at my friends, and i. All for 40 bars, a phone and a zong. & the fact it could be one of our friends is even worse. Who ever did it must think there hot shit hittin a lick for something someone can make phrophit for in one day. Stupid. No need for that drama, involving everyone else, at alexis;s fucking house. Come on, does anyone have a brain anymore?

SHUT UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU.

It's about damn time i spoke my mind. HOLLLAAAA

I'm gooooood though. Tonight was sketch,
weather it was a fake gun, or real, that
shit was scary. Wrong place, Wrong time
I've never been so concerned about my
friends before in my life.


But hey, what comes around, goes around. Play the waiting game.

Rest in peace Michael Stroh<3

Whaaaaat am i doing?
No way to get what i want.

You would think i would learn after how many times this has occurred. What'ssss up with me lately? It's like I'm blindfolded. Always hoping for the best, but i can't see that this just isn't worth my fucking time. At all.

"When I was a little girl, I used to run around in the fields all day, trying unsuccessfully to catch ladybugs. I’d get tired and lay down for a nap. When I awoke, I’d find the ladybugs walking all over me. The lesson was clear, sometimes you have to slow down, be patient and let happiness come to you."